Your article rightly brings to the forefront a horrible malaise from which Indians suffer, and which victimises us women. I speak as a victim of this 'obsession with fair skins.' In spite of being a well-educated, accomplished, qualified working woman, of attractive appearance (albeit dark-skinned) I have still not managed to find myself a spouse partly because of destiny and partly because of this prejudice. My father, a highly-placed corporate executive has not been able to find me a suitable match to his great despair (he found grooms easily enough for my other two qualified sisters, who are both fair-skinned.)The Bengali community to which I belong is supposed to be highly cultured, and yet this culture cannot rise above the worship of the fair skin.
All the male friends I have made in my life (many of whom are ex-colleagues) and whom I contemplated as possible life partners finally turned me down with excuses ranging from "You are too intense" to "We are simply incompatible." Interestingly enough, all these friends showed interest in getting into a relationship with me. What's more, all these friends finally ended up marrying different kinds of women with one common feature - fair skin. Guess, it needs a fair-skinned wife to make an Indain male feel completely successful.
I think, all men who feel strongly about this colour bias can actively work to root it out. For one, they can innsist that people advertising on their behalf in matrimonial ads avoid using the word 'fair' in the specifications. Those Indians staying abroad who see the ridiculousness of this colonial hang-up must take the initiative in fighting this colour prejudice. They can add a phrase like 'of any skin colouring.' in the ads they place in Indian papers, to amke a point.
Like men, women, even career women, need good marriages to help them realise their full potential in life. A dark complexion should not condemn a woman to a life of lonelines and deprive her of the joys of a good man-woman relationship.
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Black, White and Various Shades of Brown
Dear writer,
Your article rightly brings to the forefront a horrible malaise from which Indians suffer, and which victimises us women. I speak as a victim of this 'obsession with fair skins.' In spite of being a well-educated, accomplished, qualified working woman, of attractive appearance (albeit dark-skinned) I have still not managed to find myself a spouse partly because of destiny and partly because of this prejudice. My father, a highly-placed corporate executive has not been able to find me a suitable match to his great despair (he found grooms easily enough for my other two qualified sisters, who are both fair-skinned.)The Bengali community to which I belong is supposed to be highly cultured, and yet this culture cannot rise above the worship of the fair skin.
All the male friends I have made in my life (many of whom are ex-colleagues) and whom I contemplated as possible life partners finally turned me down with excuses ranging from "You are too intense" to "We are simply incompatible." Interestingly enough, all these friends showed interest in getting into a relationship with me. What's more, all these friends finally ended up marrying different kinds of women with one common feature - fair skin. Guess, it needs a fair-skinned wife to make an Indain male feel completely successful.
I think, all men who feel strongly about this colour bias can actively work to root it out. For one, they can innsist that people advertising on their behalf in matrimonial ads avoid using the word 'fair' in the specifications. Those Indians staying abroad who see the ridiculousness of this colonial hang-up must take the initiative in fighting this colour prejudice. They can add a phrase like 'of any skin colouring.'
in the ads they place in Indian papers, to amke a point.
Like men, women, even career women, need good marriages to help them realise their full potential in life. A dark complexion should not condemn a woman to a life of lonelines and deprive her of the joys of a good man-woman relationship.
Thanks,
with regards,
Kaushani
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